__x``good.old.times.``x_

2006-06-15T01:32:00.000-07:00

they went out w/o callin mi along...she said sorri fer tis..guess she doesn't wanto see mi...though she told mi b4 hand budden i'm stew...haix...hmmmx..i hab to lead mye life mye own nw..cuz i cant be relyin anymore..i dun wanto bcum ppl's trouble..when it's time she wuld cum..if it's not yet,she wuld neber be here.. i wont hold eu anymore ler..sorri fer bein a trouble to eu all tis while..truly apologise...i shall stay fer mye own nw..cuz no matter how hard i try it wuld neber be de ans i want..i'm gibin up soon~~

NOT BLOGING HERE ANYMORE LER.DUE TO SOME REASONS.I HAB TO START EVERYTHING ALL OVER AGAIN..

some wuld kno de new 1 some may not..juz perhaps if i sae..

2006-06-09T20:59:00.000-07:00

ytd went k-box wit sis they all..sho coincidence saw verlynn..and i realli gort gib her a big smile..wanted to msg her budden she msg mi first..sho qiao again..hahas...anyway tk cares gal..must stay cheerful..

eu knew yet eu ask..y huh??not first time ler...

2006-06-07T21:37:00.000-07:00

saw ammy tat day...was realli happi..after sho long finalli gort chance to see her...i mish de time when we were workin together..laughin and playin all de way..though we get scoldin too..budden realli enjoy de time i spent wit her..she's a gd fren..i was lucky i knew her..hope she's doin fine..=D

nx..tingtingg...saw ur blog..hmmx..hope eu are always happi lit nw...i love de happi tingtingg...dun wan eu be sad norr..budden anytin happen i'll be here..remember okies..hp specially open ferever fer eu..muackies..tk cares...

lastly ish best fren rebec..dun feel miserable okies..anytin can call mi okies..and dun ferget our trip arhs...tk cares..

2006-06-06T13:42:00.000-07:00

hmmx..guess i've explain all i can..bud all i can sae ish i deserve it..i'll wait fer de day..

tingtingg...11 june i'll cum and find eu..yeah...finalli can go meet eu ler..den i acc eu fer ur break okies...must tk cares and i'm oso here fer eu no matter wat..^^

2006-06-05T21:36:00.000-07:00

i dunno if i've done mye best..budden i hope tat she culd 4gib mi..i kno if i wanto be back lit da past we use to be ish expectin too much frm her..budden stew i wish fer tis..i dun expect her to tell mi anytin tat happens to her bud stew i wish tat she culd tell mi..sorri doesn't mean anytin..budden i'm realli sorri..

2006-05-30T07:18:00.000-07:00

tingtinggg...mye bestie..thanx alot fer sayin tat...felt sho much better...hmmx..hab alot alot of thingss to tell eu...and hmmx..ya..we did drifted..budden hope nw wont ler...gonna meet eu if i can..even juz out fer a coffee oso can..hehes...love eu alot..muackies...

its not i ferget anytin..bcuz i dun seems to be one..mayb i'm juz too sensitive..yes..i agree i'm sensitive at times..budden after wat eu said..eu all went together chattin or slackin without callin mi..ixxit sensitive too??i do not wanto tok much wif eu all as da topic eu all were sayin i no longer know anytin abt it anymore..seems happi wit things leave lit tis??i dunno...can stew smile and laugh??i dunno..dunno anymore..budden life stew need to carry on..

2006-05-28T23:59:00.000-07:00

HAPPINESSSS....i was sho happi...happiness to receive ur msg at 03:26am..make mi happi all day long...mish eu alot alot...realli need find one day meet eu ler...hope eu're doin fine..

emotions of mye own..we shall not tk life too seriously bcuz no one gets out alive..

2006-05-26T04:46:00.000-07:00

catchin fsh ish hard..bud when ppl catch until de fish they let it go..why huh??cant unerstand..catch it fer fun??or wan it to hab freedom??

changes occure..everyone hab no choice bud to adapt to it...it seems easi budden its realli beri tough..y ixxit sho...by sayin leavin ish easi...budden when we realli do it,its rather hard..bcuz every where ish da memory and it makes us more difficult to leave..den how can we totally ferget everytin??hmmx...tis are some stupid qns i thought of..cuz i'm crazy...do i hab to be independence??i guess yesh bahs...bcuz theres no more sweet talks......

isolatin..yesh..indeed..

2006-05-24T05:32:00.000-07:00

i thought of sometin in klass durin lesson today...i was thinkinggg...

people do things not bcuz they wanto bud bcuz they need to or they are force to do sho...some ppl did it differently frm what they said which make others hate or dislit them..bud they blame da fault on da others and not themselves..why??it's sho weird..some ppl slowly bcame a stranger..da one who knows them no longer understand them and doesn't kno what they're thinkin anymore..nx they did those ixxit bcuz they want to or they need to??they bcame sho gd to themselves budden ferget da one whose beside them..budden mayb what they tink are orrect..as lovin urself ish better than lovin others...Hatred??doesn't need it anymore..some left halfway through...sayin sorri does not make the one leave feel any better..we treasure them bud y do we stew make them leave?guess they were tired of everytin and what they hope fer always turns out to be a disappointment..sick and tired of everytin??if yesh,tk a break and continue ur journey..

somehow sounds abit meaningful yea??i realise i did make someone leave..budden she neber hate mi or dislit mi..i hope i'm not wrong..if i'm correct thanx alot to eu..budden i stew do enjoy da times wit eu..thanx fer ur accompany..i'm bless..i guess i wuld not tok much fer tis few days..no need to ask mi y..it's juz bcuz i dun feel lit tokin..i hab too mani emotions i haben let go..i hab too much things to tink..i felt differently after..i dunno y too..budden i need time to get over it..bear wit mi..thanx..

afterall..i was stew lucky..bcuz i'm left wit michelle[EL]..thanx...yea...need find one day go out together..i mish eu alot too..i felt sho gd when eu siad nth goanna break our bond..thanx fer tellin mi tat..love eu..i'm lucky i kno eu..

2006-05-23T07:21:00.000-07:00

no one...juz perhaps no one...bcuz i cant feel tat anyone ish here..sayin mi????

2006-05-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

seriously feelin terrible nw..i dunno wat i want...i dunno how to start..i dunno wat to sae...i'm speechless after tat tok wit eu..i hate ur him...fer sayin those things i neber said at all..yet eu choose to believe him...misunderstand..yet eu've said eu've trust..it's juz sayin without any actions...yesh...i do kno..ppl out ther dislit mi..budden frm nw on i wont care...i wont care abt others feelin..bcuz it's none of mye business..after tinkin fer e whole night ytd,i felt tat i shuld not trust ur words..bcuz i dun wanto trust anyone..and those who treat eu as their fren are more pity than eu bahs...bcuz eu said eu tok to them juz bcuz no one toks to eu..eu go out wit them bcuz no one ask eu out...eu treat them as KLASSMATES onli...they're ur spare tyre???i dunno...budden wat i wanto sae ish they treat eu beri gd eh..treasure them...yesh..perhaps eu shuld hab believe wat ur him tell eu and juz leave mi...i kno eu wuld sure cum and tk a look..pls pls...hate mi fer tis...indeed...i am selfish as wat eu said..i treated as if eu were not human..i dun cares abt ppl feelingssss..i'm a flirt..i'm someone who lits to said sumtin which eu neber said b4..lit tis can???

2006-05-18T01:43:00.000-07:00

its not wat i expected frm eu..eu should hab scold mi or nag at mi..bud instead...........

''it's okies...''wit a smile face

''huh????''

''at least eu kno eu've done ur best..''

''remember to sleep early nx time durin exam period to hab more energy fer ur papers''

its totally not wat i expexted..i'm sorri....all i hab fer eu ish juz tis shit results...i guess i've not done mye best...budden i promise..i wuld work hard fer eu...and to those who treated her badly...better watch out..as wat eu said to her will be wat others sae to eu nx time...hatred fills up mye whole mind..disappointment fills up mye whole brain when i learn tat eu're not as gd as wat i tink juz bcuz of da few words eu said to her...and i guess we're not as gd as before..i hope i'm wrong...budden nth proves tat...

total shit...

2006-05-15T20:28:00.000-07:00

goin out wit mex ytd was fun...hmmmx....at least she gort smile ler..den stew okies...anyway..thanx oOo...fer acc mi to pay mye bill...anyway was beri happi tat eu somehow told mi all ur feelingss..though culd not realli console eu budden i will stew try to sae sometin tat wuld make eu feel better...^.^

Ley...wed we can finally go out together ler...sho today need sleep early and gib all ur energy fer tml okies..hahas...

2006-05-14T19:43:00.000-07:00

everyone's feelin low today even it was our last paper.....no mood to proberly celebrate much bahs..budden stew i'm hopin fer wed to cum sho tat i culd go out wit mye darlinggs..too bad..onli gort them ask mi out..budden it enff bahs..i guess...hmmx...anyway juz to tell one person..i saw ur eyes moving round and round..who eu are doin to i dunno too..eu dun feel happi??tat doesn't mean we are happi...cant eu juz use ur eyes to juz tk a gd look at how our face looks...perharps if i were to ask eu

''y eu did tat''

''no..i did not''

''ixxit''

''if eu wan lit tat tink i oso cant sae anytin''

''sae anytin if eu lit.i dun wanto care''

after tis conversation,some1 wuld cry den its mye fault again...tats wat everyone tinks except fer da special 2..i am sick and tired of tis already...if's happenin almost everyday tat i wuld kno wat eu're gonna replied after i ask eu any qns...culd u gib mi some break...i need it..and pls...dun gib anyone tat look again nx time..bcuz i dun tink i wuld keep quiet anymore..i hate it when eu ask tat qns again and again..and hate eu sae ''eu already lit tis tink den i oso cannot do anytin.'' pls..dun sae it as if it was mi who anyhow tink or even tat i tink it wrongly..no use explainin..bcuz i tink tat it's juz rubbish..everytin's juz too late...too late...

2006-05-12T22:13:00.000-07:00

to someone:nowadays eu may be gd or not gd at all..sorri tat when eu hab probs i was not ther fer eu..not bcuz i dun care..i do care..infact i care alot alot...specially fer eu onli..i dunno y...though we dunno each other tat much budden i juz dunno y when da first time i tok to eu i juz lit eu alot alot ler..its strange..i dunno y oso...nw its sho hard to tok to eu or even send eu a msg..eu might tink i dun care or even wat i sae ish juz all rubbish budden its not...eu sumtimes might tink tat i dun wanna go out wit eu budden its not..ish bcuz i culdn't make it..sometime i'm oso afraid tat when i go out wit eu i hab to make eu rush wit mi..bcuz i hab to reach home early..i stew remember da day we first meet out..[22-12-04]i treasure tis day alot...tis was da time i get to kno eu even more...even it's juz goin to down town east.i felt beri happi already...i hab alot alot of things to tell eu..budden i guess eu wuld no longer kno all tis le bahs....i dun wanto gib up on findin chance out wit eu though i kno its impossible..bcuz i treasure eu alot...alot until i culdn't believe it myeslf..anyway..stay cheeful..

2006-05-10T23:11:00.000-07:00

da one i'm referrin to ish a gal...misunderstand mi..

again..

2006-05-09T21:37:00.000-07:00

finally art ish over....i'm left wit chem and bio den tats de end of mid year..at least culd relax abit..hmmx...i juz dunno y...y ixxit always lit tis..are eu habin mood swing??hab u said sumtin??hab eu doubt on mi??hab eu ever believe mi??hab eu ever treat mi as one??i dunno..guess onli eu wuld kno da answer...i wanto be da past old mi..sho tat i culd do things independently and not rely on anyone..bcuz one day,things wuld start to change.. i need to be protective of myeself...yesh..i'm selfish..tats mi..lit it anot ish ur probs..

en....once again thanx lots lots...

2006-05-01T03:09:00.000-07:00

sorri mex..neber acc eu...cuz i need acc mye sis..hope eu dun mind..sorri..anyway..i miss eu leii..miss ley oso...tml goin back to sch..haix.. i hate to go sch...budden thinkin tat i wuld be able to see both of eu..i'm quite happi de..

i guess i'm left wit nth to be said..cuz i dunno wat else culd i sae to eu.

2006-04-30T06:44:00.000-07:00

thanx en....eu said alot of things to mi,makin mi realise wat ish right and wat ish wrong...budden i'm stew speechless towards...i dunno how am i gonna chat back..perhaps it needs time bahs..

2006-04-28T01:33:00.000-07:00

i din mean to sae tat...or mayb i juz hab to sae it sho tat i wont hurt u futher bahs..better fer eu.. tats wat i tink..even wat i sae ish false,i did it fer ur gd..hmmx...exams tis week did not go smooth..quarrel stew goes on..even when i'm habin exams..i hab no mood to do..i cant concentrate...esp in mye chinese paper 2....i realli hab no mood to do it..when i realli start to concentrate,half an hour already pass...i cant finish..i did it as it was juz a practice..i was holdin on...budden juz culdn't tk it..sho i let go..guess tat teacher saw it..lucky i was da first in da row..sho nobody saw it..its obvious to kno tat i'm not feelin gd tis few days...sorri to those whom worry...nw den i kno hu realli cares and hu doesn't..all da while,eu did it bcuz u need to do it and not bcuz u wanted to...i'm all mess up wit mye feelin...i said wrong things to ppl..i wanted to sae wat i realli feel to eu..budden i ended up sayin da opposite feelings and things..i dunno wat went wrong..i'm juz tired...realli beri tired..i dun even hab strength to quarrel..

i hab to pretend..bcuz of wat i said...i wuld be alright after a while..sho nw i'm alright...i wanto be alone...

happi bday to eu..mayb all ur wish cum true..last..sorri...

2006-04-22T23:13:00.000-07:00

thanx fer tat...and goin out wit mex was enjoyable...took neoprints though it din turn out beri gd..hmmmx...nx time shall tk again together wif ley too...muackx...love both alot...mye darlingggsss..

2006-04-17T04:54:00.000-07:00

hab a new file..yeah...hahas..hmmmx...stew habin qns in mye head..tinkin of wat mama hab said just nw...new name???huh???anyway..i stew lit it...^^

2006-04-15T02:30:00.000-07:00

chances dun cum often..if eu mish it,it will neber cum back again..i took da first step..budden eu neber cherish it..sho i wuld neber cum back..gib it a mish bahs..its hard to ask eu..yet i try to bud nth in return...i dun wanto hab tat courage again..neber gonna ask once more...i'm yet to be a fool..

2006-04-14T08:58:00.000-07:00

right eye abit red and swollen..dunno y oso..hmmx..i'm waitin fer tat communications siliently..tk times bahs..things changes and nth wuld ever remain da same as before..yet...i neber treasure it..ixxit tat i took it fer granted or ixxit i'm use to it already??i'm depress,downcast yet i dun wanto show out..i dun wanto bcum a burden fer all wher it wuld juz make all hates it..den wat shuld i do??

sorri..i can onli sae sorri..sorri fer not being ther...cuz i'm afraid.......

2006-04-13T09:18:00.000-07:00

hatred,aversion..

2006-04-11T08:02:00.000-07:00

do i realli feel tat way??do i realli tink tat way??do i realli mean wat i've said??i dunno myeself either..i'm confuse...anyway..nex..i've finish wit it..tk a look..see if eu need any improve or its fine..den gib mi a msg i send eu..okiies...

mex darlin not happi...cheer up..

tis one ish mye de..neber a smile....

2006-04-11T01:23:00.000-07:00

mex..thanx fer ur snickers...early in da mornin was not feelin right budden somehow,after eu gave mi e chocolate,i felt better..thanx lotsa...love eu..muackies..
sorri leyy......

2006-04-10T01:22:00.000-07:00

unsaid words..unwanted ppl..unexpressed feelings..
ixxit numb feelinggs again???shuld be goin back??
or shuld move forward??

i tink i'm juz bein too sticky..ppl may repugnance or dislike..
i'm not da actual mi..i fail to do everytin..i'm collapsing..
pls....dun add on..i cant take in anymore..pls...

2006-04-07T00:33:00.000-07:00

inaudible...neverless da same..jumbled up feelings..nothin culd describe anytin..
sho long as i hab both i'm fine wit anytin else..tats mi..

2006-04-05T03:17:00.000-07:00

kno alot of things today..wat i guess are realli correct..

2006-04-04T07:18:00.000-07:00

few days pass...it seems normal to everyone bud not to mi..i'm not sure of da reasons too..been thinkiin quite alot these few days..think i'm goin to get old sooner...things juz cant be lit da past..i made mye stand and i guess i wuld neber change it..sho no point advicin mi mye dear frens..one more things..(eu shuld kno hu i'm referrin)i dunno wat i tell u ish correct mah..mayb bcuz of wat i've said make u change ur whole thinkings..budden i say it not bcuz of i wan to do anytin or wanto make eu hate.........ya...if lit make things fer eu worst..i'm realli sorri..realli sorri..budden i'm oso thankful to eu..bcuz eu neber tink tat wat i've sae ish false..or mayb wat i've sae ish juz to let eu fall into tat trap i long plan or wat ever...thanx fer ur trust...

nw i guess we're juz as stranger..hmmx..i dun wanto care abt how others see mi or think of mi..bcuz its their probs..if those whom i concern believe mi and think i'm not tat kind of person..it's already enough..a big big thanx to all..i'm goin to continue mye life juz lit tis..back to sumtin not lit da past yet similar to da past...

2006-03-30T00:34:00.000-08:00

yesh..mayb everyone wuld tink i'm cruel,heartless..budden tats juz mi..you told mi tat u're human..i'm human too..if eu realli not happi wif mi tk sumtin hit mi back..i wuld stand ther not movin to let eu hit..i promise..ya..mayb i neber thought of how u feel..bud did eu understand how i feel???we're no longer back lit last time..i swear neber..since eu said i'm bad..i wuld be even worst than bad to let eu see...trust mi..since i hab no courage to love..i wuld hab da courage to hate..

qiing and ley..thanx fer wat eu all hab said..to mi..mayb it's onli of little use bahs..cuz i've decide...tis time ish real ler..i hab mye stand..sorri if i did make eu all disappointed or wat..sorri..

sorri to those whom i neber reply ur msg today..cuz i wanto stay alone..juz fer today..tml i'll be alright..ish rainin nw...stew hab thunder..bud i'm goin out...to let myeself realli tink..

2006-03-28T06:22:00.000-08:00

thanx to shu qingg siew meii they all...hmmx.. thanx alot fer acc mi..i'm okies...juz tat mornin not okies onli..=Ppp

shu qingg thanx fer ur advice..realli..cuz at first all i thought was to help my bro and nth else...and those words u've sae makes mi realli through..^_^and to solve da probs properly..thanx to des they all too..fer helpin mi..i dunno wat to sae other den thank eu..juz thanx..

da workshop did make mi feel sumtin..they was actualli right..

2006-03-27T06:55:00.000-08:00

finally back frm da course..was beri tired..tired until mama saw mye face she sae tat if realli beri tired tml dun go fer da course..bud i insist on goin..cuz pay up fer da course already..-_-
stew hab 2 more days to study frm 7.15am to 9pm..den can rest ler..hmmmx..bud stew i wanto sae da course sumhow did make mi laugh alot..which was gd..=)

we cant be back lit da past..sho no point sayin sho much to mi..cuz i've already decide mye stand ler..we're no longer.....no longer...

2006-03-24T07:15:00.000-08:00

today go bugis there find siew mei[ley]..actualli wanto acc her eat de budden she eat at 5 den we thot was 6 sho can onli go ther find her tok tok onli..q ii n gg hab taken some beri -_-'' de video.. was quite an okay day fer mi..anyway q ii n gg,dun tink sho much arh..must cheer up..sumtimes ans might not be as negative as wat eu tink..dun bcum lit mi..not gd oOo.. ^_^

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else..I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself..I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart..I'd rather have the one who holds my heart..sho meaninful...

after all tis things..i tink i shuld leave mye past le..i shuld not care abt those whom dun care at all..since they ignore everytin i've done fer them den i tink i shuld not do things fer them anymore..and fer those who care alot fer mi,thanx alot..muackx..i wuld be stronger and not shut myeself up..

2006-03-22T04:15:00.000-08:00

hmmx..today lookin at qingg de fone found some of e pic quite funny de..anyway its a gd memory to hab them..though some of e pic look....-_-''

wat are we doin??

mi and mex..

mi and ley..

anyway,love them alot...hahas..

thanx fer lettin mi kno tat eu stew care..makin mi feel much safe...i hab alot of things to tell eu yet i was speechless..i dunno why...

2006-03-21T00:26:00.000-08:00

b4 sayin tat i've change,i wuld lit to tell eu first..i neber change at all..eu were da one changin..eu sae eu dun need mi..since eu already sae tis..wat can i add on?sho i might as well leave eu and be wit da others..perhaps life without us wuld be da same fer eu..

shi minggg...dun be moody ler..nx time must be extra careful ler okiesSs..

emptiness fills

2006-03-19T07:39:00.000-08:00

back frm chalet..although stew hab unhappy things happenin ther..bud after all its was stew okies..hmmx..i felt a little empty..am i too sensitive?

2006-03-17T20:58:00.000-08:00

Hmmmx...i'm off to chalet..hopw it will be an enjoyable one..scho gonna start soon..haix..tis means tat exams gonna start soon..time realli pass beri fast..anyway wuld try to work hard..

2006-03-17T08:48:00.000-08:00

eu juz told mi everytin nw...wat do eu expect mi to react?or mayb how shuld i react?i think i shuld be unmoved..so i wont be affected by any others emotions..

2006-03-17T08:38:00.000-08:00

shuqing and siew mei they all came to mye hse to do our school work..they look at tat photo album..tat pic which doesn't look lit mi..anyway great day wit them..sorri..cant go out wit eu..

when eu need real understandin,sum1 to care about,some1 to count on..
i'm always here fer eu..tis offer ferver..

good luck fer ur competition..jia you~~

2006-03-15T20:43:00.000-08:00

haix...regret alittle..budden its alright..shuld oso be da time i sae goodbye to mye past ler..

if i'm da sun,i'll gib eu warmth..if i'm da moon,i'll shine during ur darkest hours..since i'm juz mi,den i'll gib eu mye hand to show i care..and oso be ther when eu need..

2006-03-14T08:34:00.000-08:00

shuld i or shuldn't i join??1hr every sun..

its a nice feelin when eu kno tat sum1 loves eu,sum1 mishes eu,sum1 needs eu..
bud it feels much better when eu kno tat sum1 neber ever fergets eu..

2006-03-12T03:48:00.000-08:00

hmmmx...wanto thanx shuqing siew mei and kexin..i'm okies now..feeling much better ler..onli gort sunburn..nw two colour..-_-'' budden i stew wanto sae ytd was a beri fun trip..did enjoy myeself...if i neber feel unwell,guess it wuld be better lo..and wanto sae sorri to 3 of eu..cuz make eu all worry fer mi plus trouble until eu all..sorri..hope eu all did enjoy urself..^.^

lastly..wanto sae sorri to another person..neber reply ur msg cuz i fell asleep ler...

2006-03-09T00:04:00.000-08:00

eu ever sae tat i'm ur best one..bud i culdn't feel it at all..i guess i'm not..as i'm learnin to be by myeself..bcuz i dun understand u at all...

2006-03-02T22:08:00.000-08:00

i'm sho tired..i'm restless..fer tis week almost everyday i wake up at 4..and cant go back to sleep..goin to bcum panda ler..-_-'' i's oso tired of any explanations eu gib to mi..i dun wanna hear anytin..cuz i dun believe wat eu sae..no point explanin when everythin ish done..nth culd be undone ler..its juz too late..fer tis few days if i ever gib any attitude to eu all sorri..i dun wanto be lit tis oso de...

2006-02-27T05:13:00.000-08:00

if eu're sayin abt mi den y dun tell mi striaght away..den i kno wat i do wrong..i'm disappointed..disappointed on how eu look at mi..eu tinks tat i'm tis type of person..wat can i sae futher more?i'm such a failure..who can i turn to??i realli dunno..bcuz da one i can turn to no longer wans to kno ler bahs..sorrows fill up mye life...........

2006-02-26T15:49:00.000-08:00

i cant sleep well fer da whole night..tiinkin of wat eu've said..

waitin sliently...

2006-02-25T23:57:00.000-08:00

haix...wat eu sae ixxit real?eu mean wat eu sae mah?i dunno y i juz matter alot on wat eu sae to mi..hmmx...i'm afriad i've said sumtin wrong..bcuz ther was once,i ever sae things wrongly den everytin changes..we were not as gd..and....i've lost tat person..i dun wanto make da same mistake again..wat can i do?i'm confuse and helpless...bud i'm oso worried..y am i feelin tis way..

2006-02-25T06:28:00.000-08:00

was quite a buzi day today...wake up at 7 plus den prepare go swim...hmm...tink swim until 11 plus bahs...den went home..after tat go out wif rebec...she bought a bag..(rebec,eu dun hab tis type of bag sho wont waste money lo)hahas...hmmx..rebec bring mi to eat sumtin..sho nice..nx time wanto go eat again..budden i need to kno how to go ther first lo..if not later walk fer 1hr stew cannot find..tok alot wif rebec...happi to kno her things...=)sho today was quite a relax day..thanx to rebec..plus one more person..fer hearin mi sae some of mye thing..

rebec...sorrii arh....

2006-02-24T06:50:00.000-08:00

wat i hope nw ish uncle joe to be fine....remember eu once sae eu wanto to treat us??sho better be alright..i'm worried..yet i cannot feel tis way...

2006-02-24T00:33:00.000-08:00

i'm sho confuse..who ish sayin da truth and who ish not sayin da truth i realli dunno..who realli understand mi?hope to find sum1 tat understands mi realli much...budden guess its hard..cuz i dun even understand myeself.......

2006-02-22T07:09:00.000-08:00

i dunno if eu juz sae it fer fun or ixxit real..budden if its real..i'm happi..and will thanx eu fer being ther to support..its nice tokin wif eu..releases all mye stress and mye heavy-hearted..
nx person ish de other eu..remember wat eu promise arh...dun find mi a bothersome can ler..i'll make sure ur ears get flood...=pPpp..thanx alot...

stew dun feel belong..bcuz no one says.............

2006-02-07T03:58:00.000-08:00

today was da first time i saw her in real life..finalli get to c her..not on photos,drawings..bud real person...hmmmx...bcuz of her sumone lie to mi..ehh...mayb not lie ish keep things away frm mi...onli after sumtimes,den tat person told mi everytin...mayb it ish oso gd tat i kno tat person keep things frm mi at first den i'll kno tat i'm actualli such a failure...such a 'wonderful' failure..thanx to tat person..and i shouldn't hab felt disappointed..instead i should feel happi..happi tat i m actualli a fool,a jester,a clown,a joker...WTH...i should not hab feel tis way..da way i m feeling nw...sho confuse sho messy..budden i swear tis ish da last time i will feel tis way..cuz i am puttin a fullstop to it..and neber gonna sae abt eu again..neber in mye life...cuz i stew feel unsecure wit eu........

2006-02-04T23:59:00.000-08:00

hmmmx..somehow i dun feel secure..dun feel secure in everytin..
budden anyway..i did enjoy myeself at siew mei hse..went ther to learn some math and finish up mye homework..den tk quite alot of photos wit siew mei[yue mu] and ai man da..after tat went city hall ther wit them to da astro boii shop..ai man da sure lurb it alot lo..hahas..den in da night went bedok ther to eat wif ai man da's family~~thanx alot...
hmmmx..was a fine day after all..thanx to ai man da and siew mei[yue mu]

2006-01-31T07:34:00.000-08:00

its not abt trustin..bud juz wanto ask hab eu ever kno tat i'm around..perhaps no bahs..cuz i dun seems to feel tat eu treat mi as if i'm ther..i'm juz a stranger to eu am i right...anyway i guess i dun belong to eu all..after all eu .... are gd without mi...eu ....will treasure each other and not mi..

waitin fer ur presence sliently...

2006-01-29T07:29:00.000-08:00

i wuld neber ask............neber ask again...
i feel lonely after all...walkin in da streets all alone...

2006-01-25T23:59:00.000-08:00

ther ish no way to feel fully alive
unless i am willing to start mye day wit
at least optimistic option..

2006-01-23T06:35:00.000-08:00

eu juz isn't wat i tink..and yes..i dunno wat's on ur mind..i dunno wat eu're tinking..wat eu sae ixxit real anot i dunno too..and actually i tink we're not as gd as wat i thought...ya...

2006-01-20T06:13:00.000-08:00

since eu all wanto keep things away frm mi den i shall not bother abt eu all..dun expect mi to tell eu hows mye life..cuz i dun need ur care..yeah..eu all are togther bud not mi..cuz i was neber together when eu all dun treat mi tat way..

2006-01-15T06:05:00.000-08:00

da wind blows softly on mye face..i was juz sittin under da dark blue sky..tis feelin juz makes mi feel beri comfortable..i felt sho relax bud it onli last fer a few minutes..bcuz those memories came back...i hab alot to sae bud yet i hushed and kept it in silent..nw everyone reprimand mi and castigate mi..i can onli sae i deserve it?perhaps yes bahs...do eu kno i am keepin it away frm everyone juz to protect eu??

2006-01-11T06:51:00.000-08:00

i hab onli left wit broken smile..wat can i do now ish juz nonentity...can i repent,lament??no..i cant..i felt sho frightened,reluctant,suspiciou,apprehensive,daunted...who can i go to...who can i find to tok to..anyone can be mye listenin ear???

2006-01-06T06:27:00.000-08:00

happy bday to mi..~
yummy~~

2006-01-03T23:08:00.000-08:00

hmmmx...its been 2 months ago since i last blog here..anyway..i m back again..=)things stew happen..happy,unhappy de..wanto say tat if can i wish tat i was neber happy..bcuz da happy memories will onli bring mi saddness...

thanx to eric..^_^ tryin to make mi laugh in sch..budden wanto tell eu i stew as negative as before leii..how huh??anyway gd to hab eu as mye fren..

oso last thanx to both of eu for tat present..i was tinkin how did eu all kno i lit musicbox..was hopin fer 1 if can..thanx alot..love tat present alot..muackx..
hmmx...after all..it was stew a glad day fer mi..

2005-11-01T19:03:00.000-08:00

she's lost..totally lost..
all tis was all too late...budden nth can be done to stop tis..and will be shuttin down herself..and mayb not blogging here ler..cuz its all meaningless..keepin all da things to herself ish much better..mayb if she habs happy times she will cum here and blog..cuz she does not wanto see tis blog full of unhappiness...

sorriiii

2005-10-25T05:24:00.000-07:00

hmmmx...sorrii...tis few days not in a gd mood..sho if in sch,i gib any1 attitude,pls fergib mi...budden i will try to control myeself and hide mye feelin away frm all of eu...

and lastly...hope eu are happi..

2005-10-24T23:52:00.000-07:00

i reali hab nth more to sae back..tink tat i hab neber been happi..hope tat when i start workin i can ferget all tis as workin make mi more busy and i cannot even hab da time to tink...shoOo...faster start workin...

2005-10-24T18:59:00.000-07:00

its all rubbish of wat eu sae..do eu kno wat eu sae make mi irritated..i hate eu compare how i treat eu wit others lo...juz remember wat eu sae..da tone da words okie..

2005-10-23T18:55:00.000-07:00

y huh...instead of askin mi urself,eu ask mye fren to ask mi...tell eu,i neber tell her wat to sae.i ask her to sae anitin she lit..i dunno wat she hab sae to eu..bud all i kno its da end ler...

2005-10-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

its not tat others dun trust eu ish juz tat eu neber trust others...oso..when eu hab problems which time did eu realli cum and find mi and tell mi wat happen huh?neber am i rit..

2005-09-28T20:45:00.000-07:00

it was so silly of mi to tink tat eu understand after all..its all rubbish on wat eu hab sae..its all liars..and stew i hope fer...dun wanto sae abt eu ler..

anway juz wanto tell de other eu..pls dun treat mi gd..all i can gib back ish juz attitude...attitude tat eu cant stand..not worth..sho nw i am tryin to make eu hate mi..and make eu gib up..sorri is wat i can sae bahs..no choice..cuz i am wasting ur time..plus i may tk advantage lo..sho fergin mi if i sae all those wicked sinful things to eu..i realli dun mean it..it ish juz wat i hab to do..sorri..

2005-09-25T02:59:00.000-07:00

y ixxit tat eu always misunderstand mi...seems lit i always sort of quarrel wit eu..wat shuld i do..dun eva meet up wit them huh?or ixxit i shuld let go??yesh..mayb wat eu say may helps eu bahs..juz pretend and..........no1 wuld eva kno wat i am tiinkin..its all fake...how am i goin to accept when there ish always misunderstandin..tryin to burry secrete shadow mask cloak suppress all mye feelings..one day i may sequester segregate alienate and shut up myself.. if mayb eu happen to c tis..dun tink tat i am writtin other people..yesh..it ish eu..da onli eu..wat i sae to eu ish fake bahs...i care wat eu sae to mi..budden it ish always eu misunderstandin..eu sae i wit them gd budden eu neber try to be gd wit mi..everytime when i dunno wat to sae to eu i onli can sae sorri..anyway tink eu letting go..wont disturb eu ler...

2005-09-10T00:16:00.000-07:00

ish eu hu dun wan it to be better den dun blame all da
faults on mie ok..

2005-08-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

in mye life,ther's no adore,idolize,cherish bud onli ABOMINATE.

erm...yesh...i mish eu miserably..mye lao dou..

2005-08-27T23:54:00.000-07:00

hmmmmx...ya...frm tml onwards i wont care abt anytin anymore ler..
wat eu all wanna do and wat eu all wanna tink abt mii ish all ur pros ler..
i dun wanna care abt it ler..cuz i m sho tired of all of eu..

2005-08-23T22:38:00.000-07:00

sorrowful tearful grief-stricken heavy-hearted upset distressed
miserable low-spirited down cast glum long-faced crestfallen
dejected down-heartd despondent melancholy depredded gloomy
dismal painful depressing poignant lamentable disastrous moody
discourage dismayed doleful despairing inconsolable wretched
disconsolate blah blah blah...onli all tis can describe mye feeling..

2005-08-15T08:14:00.000-07:00

i juz dunno wat to sae it to euu...everytime when i wanto sae it to eu
abt tat things..seems lit i always remember wat eu write...eu seems to
lit sae things abt mi or rather us bahs...budden eu went out wit ur frens
oso without calling us..

2005-08-11T18:53:00.000-07:00

hmmx...today was quite a happi day...finally..i hab a happi day
after all tat thingy..wento reb hse n slack..actually plan to do our art
budden ended up restin and chattin..hahas...her bed was sho
comfortable until i nearly fall asleep...den at abt 7 plus goin 8 den
we went home...thanz fer 3 all of eu there by mye side...i lub eu all..muackx..

anyway...angel,memoirs thanz fer wat eu all hab sae to mi..feeling better
nw...hmmmx...sorri fer not taggin back...cuz dunno y e tag board cannot be
tag...=X again...a big big thanz to both of eu..^_^

2005-08-09T15:33:00.000-07:00

hmmmx...dunno how to express mye feelings and thoughts...
juz dunno wat eu are tinkin..eu are sho difficult to understand...
i dunno wat to do...sumtimes ppl tell mi tat eu did tis juz bcuz eu
wanto let others see..ixxit real??idunno...anyway...i oso dun
wanto tink sho much abt it ler...hu eu lit hu eu dislit is none of mye
business....as long as eu happi can ler...i oso tink it ish time fer mii to
let go of everytin ler...i am realli beri tired of all tis thingys ler...
i tink eu hab ur other frens ish enff ler bahs...since they treat eu sho gd...
seems lit eu are happier wit them..den y shuld i bother eu...

mayb eu will not fergib us fer doin all tis thingys bahss...
budden ish lit sho difficult fer mi..i dunno wat u r tinkin...
u r realli hard to be understand..i can onli sae sorri bahsS..
although i kno sorri cannot make any difference bud tis ish
wat i can sae to eu..

2005-08-04T00:41:00.000-07:00

haiix...i am sho tired of all tis thingy ler..
when can it stop?i need to tink fer not onli
1 thing but alot alot...when can i hab a break?

2005-07-25T03:06:00.000-07:00

wat euu sae to mi iish meaninful..i will remember it fer mye rest of da liife...
thx fer gibin mii those memories..i miish eu alot..

wat iish important ishh how well eu liive
and not how long eu live..

2005-07-21T04:49:00.000-07:00

gd ppl are leavin mii...y....i realli feel tat i am sho stress up...
bud i can onli hide mye sadness...it seems tat i m happi...
bud i am realli not alrit..i cannot tahan tis onli pro...y...
y gd ppl leaves...i cant bear..realli cant...i hab to keep quiet
pretend lit nth happen and be lit da normal day...i dun wanto sae
out bcuz i dun wan eu all to be worry fer mi..and not tat i dislit
eu all sho neber tell eu de...

fergib mi fer not tellin all of eu..rebecca..thanz fer ur warm hug...
although eu juz hug mi lit last time eu use to do..budden today
ur hug means alot to mi...i felt sho depress and dun dare to sae out bud
ur hug make mi feel sho much better..thanz...i wuld lit to tell eu tat
no matter wat thing happen,i will stew be ther fer eu...lub eu alot..
muackx...realli thanz alot...eu make mi feel better...and fergib mi tat
i did not tell eu wad happen...tis include da rest of eu..sorri...

2005-07-20T18:32:00.000-07:00

firstly i wuld want to sae happi bday to zhan yi,godma and wee chiang..
hope euu all enjoy ur bday...stay happi always...

hmmm...tis few days arh...soso lo...realli beri tired..dun feel lit goin to
sch..everytime when go sch,seems lit sure will hab pros de...everyday
stew hab remedial...everyweek,mock test...sian...

erm...hope eu will understand mi...i dun mean to drag...i realli
feel tat it ish hard to face eu...all da things i hab sae to eu and da
things eu sae to mi realli make mi sho...haiix....sorri abt tis...

stress ish wad i can sae nw....when can all tis end...

2005-07-12T20:52:00.000-07:00

today was quite a confusin day bahs...seems lit everyone's
mood ish not gd...i such a stupid person...y cant i solve da
problems...mayb ish realli bcuz of mi den all of eu hab all tis
problems de...no matter how mani times eu push mi away,i
promise i will stew be ther fer eu...

mayb nw we might not be as gd as before..budden i stew
wanto tell eu tat i do care..mayb eu wont believe mi
budden i kno myeself can ler..if one day sumtin happen..
and i m not by ur side,fergib mii...i can onli sae sorri..
i kno wat done cannot be undone..sho no point saein
sorri..bud tats wat i can sae to eu..i dun hope eu will
fergib mii but i hope eu are happi..

2005-07-11T22:09:00.000-07:00

dun wanto hab onli 1 entry in da month july..nw hab to update..
haiixx....sho mani things happen...wad to do nerhx..
can any1 understand??

2005-07-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

it shO long since i update mye blog...sho mani things happen ya...
make mi nw sho confuse..mayb it ish realli mye fault bahs..i shuld not
even sae i hab advisior...

den in sch..haixx...sho sian..dun feel lit goin leii...budden stew must go...
as i promise someone tat i will work hard liao..sho cannot be lit last time
lerr...dun feel lit goin den dun go..nw will go sch everyday unless i fall sick la..

tired ish wat i can say nw bahs...mayb i shuld keep quiet and den juz disapper..
mayb one day i will try tis out..hahas..

2005-06-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

hu tat idiot write those stupid things on mye
tag board usin mye name...eu better own up ok...
better dun let mi find myeself tat hu eu are..
if not...eu better watch out...i will curse until eu
are dead... wad da hell man..i din provoke eu bah..
if yesh cum find mi urself lar..no need do yis type of stupid
things de..eu think eu stew kid arh...y..scare arh...dun
dare find mi den do tis type of things..if i provoke eu,cum tell mi lar..
we 1 to 1 settle tis..

oOo..btw..if eu wanto pretend to be mi n write those things...pls hor..
no double 'e' hor..i dun write double 'e' de lo..*fcuk u*
and hor..i wont die of such stupid things hor..eu wanto die go die urself
lo...

2005-06-16T23:41:00.000-07:00

today meet mye besties ting tinggg go out...
hmmmx..i was late..sho sorrii ting ting....
we went to to bugis den tk neoprints...^^
e first neoprint was not nice...den use da other
machine to tk again...den tis time,it was nicer..
shoOo happii can tk photo wif her..will treasure
e neoprints de...
after tat we went to orchard coz she sae tat ytd she juz
go bugis mahx..wento k-box wif her..her voice shOo nice
and sweet leii...lit wang xin ling..we sing until abt 7 plus
den go raffles to find her bro..den on tat time..gort sum1 tok
to mi...make mi kno tat ting tinggg ish shOo gd..i tiink she ish
da onli person tat will trust mi bah..*touched*i will treasure
her no matter wat de..
lastly..ting tinggg arh...although eu call mi not to sae sorri to eu ler..
budden i stew dun feel sho gd leii...realli beri sorri leii..ish not tat i dun wanto
do tat wif eu..ish bcoz......eu kno la..and osO sumtimes i cannot too late
go hm mahx..den scare will ma fang euu..realli..

hmmmx..today beri happi oOo...lit tok alot wif ting tinggg...tink shuld
be able to hab sweet dreams..haha...
[tingting dun tink sho muchie abt tat thing okiex..^^]

2005-06-15T01:06:00.000-07:00

if da ans iish no...ii can onlii sae sorrii to eu ler..

2005-06-14T14:42:00.000-07:00

i tiink ii hurt eu alot bahx...ii can onlii sae
sorrii..tiink tats da onlii wae bah..liit tiis
ii wont waste ur tiime ler...coz i,myeself
oso dunno leii...den liit tiis i hab oso done
wad ii promiise ler..

2005-06-14T11:49:00.000-07:00

da ans yess and noo matters alot huh...
i wonnt giib euu da anss...even iif ii
gib eu de anss lerr..wad wuld euu do..
da ans i giib wuld most proberly be
fake bah...

2005-06-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

bestie arh...seems lit eu r sho sad huh...dun tink
sho muchie of tat person okie...must take gd care of
urself horx..

haix...tis few days fer mie ish sho sian...nth to do...

da distance between us nw ish geting farer and farer...
no1 wuld understand wad i m tiinkin...even those who
are always wit mie..coz they themselves oso hab their
own frens..tiink i am goin to be independence again ler..

2005-06-04T21:26:00.000-07:00

today stay at home whole day...sho borin leii...lit
nth to do leii...budden later on n da evening,shu qing
came to mye hse...we play monopoly wif my bro n mye
cousin...wah..tis shu qing keep sayin tat she neber buy da hse...
c lit she beri ke lian lit tis den i oso dun buy da hse..budden
in da end she buy those hse tat we nd to pay high rent leii...
pay until i bankrupt..but all of us enjoy ourselves...
thankz oOOo...bcoz eu cum n let mi stop tiinkin of those things..

2005-06-03T22:38:00.000-07:00

today bring my bro n mye two cousin to bedok
swimming complex...they swim sho cute..hahax..after
tat brought them to KFC to hab our dinner..erm..sorii...
mayb tml cant make it ler..hope euu dun mind...coz
stew not sure if tml free mah..den dun wanto waste ur time
waitin fer mye ans...heex..hmmm...den hope eu enjoy ur

day tml..tk care..tata~~

2005-05-28T13:54:00.000-07:00

i hate euu alot..

2005-05-27T20:54:00.000-07:00

Finish each day and be done wit it.
euu hab done what euu could;
some blunders and absurdities hab crept in;
forget them as soon as euu can.
tml ish a new day;
euu shall begin it serenely,and wit too high
spirit to encumbered wit ur own nonsense.

yea..i dun wanto remember eu..i wanto forget euu
as soon as i can..tml wuld be a brand new day,brand
new start for mi..

2005-05-27T13:30:00.000-07:00

yeah....back frm kexin hse..staay ther almost for 3 days 2 night leh...
stayin at her hse was rather comfortable...budden i m not tat gd wif
her parents,therfore it was oso wired wired de..

1st day,we had our steamboat wif shu qing and siew mei..we even play
da game ''zhong ji mi ma''those hu lose had to drink da mixture of
soya sauce,pepper,oranger juice,vinger,plain water,sprite,salt,sugar..
omg..it is terrible..haha...budden it was fun..heex...den when it was abt
11 plus,we sent siew mei n shu qing home...

nx day,mi n kexin went to orchard and bugis..bugis again..(-_-'')she bought
a clothe..bud she ended up regretin of buyin it..and keep throwin things all
over..den stew wan mi acc her go play badminton to release her anger..
but it was ten plus when we juz came back frm orchard and bugis...
after tat we even go down to ride bicycle..

after all,it was gd to stay at her hse..tata~~
acc

2005-05-23T21:38:00.000-07:00

i dun wan..i dun wan...i dun wan...
i dun wanto hear tis qns...

2005-05-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

wah lao...euu tis idiot person..wanto hai mi again arh..
hate eu alot leh...idiot..y always mi..ther are sho mani ppl
to let euu pick and PROKOKE them..bud y always mi..
euu wanto let ppl mistunderstand mi arh..
wah lao..i already let eu make until i realli beri irritated ler..
eu better watchout arh..dun let mi hab da chance to take
revenge...

2005-05-20T22:57:00.000-07:00

today actually hab dc de..but 4 of us[shuqing,siew mei,kexin and mi]
neber go..tink after holiday sure hab two three times de dc liao..
abt 2 plus,kexin siew mei,shu qing and ade came to my hse to use com..
after tat we go bedok swimming complex to swim..haa..sho fun..
shu qing thx alot..i kno tat euu wan mi to be happi..i will tink abt it b4
makiin e decision on wantin to accept him mah okiex..haa..eu oso tink
abt XXX..he actually oso not bad mah..haa..^ ^

____x``good.old.times.``x___

sorriiii

__x``good.old.times.``x_